Daily Sack History Satire

Archaeologists Find 3 Long-Lost Hammurabi’s Code Laws

Reported by Harry P. Grundel

Until recently, historians and anthropologists agreed that there were 282 laws in Hammurabi’s Code of Laws. However, recently, anthropologists have uncovered 3 previously unknown Babylonian laws.

Written in a similar vein to the original 282 laws in Hammurabi’s Code, these 3 recent, exciting long-lost discoveries tell a primitive story of justice and law. Like Babylon’s other 282 laws, these 3 mark a point in civilizational progress that would ultimately change humanity for the better.

Hammurabi’s Code of Laws truly is a remarkable achievement. Anthropologists and historians are having a field day, and rightfully so. After all, it begs the question as to how much more we can learn from ancient Babylonian society.

Hammurabi's Code of Laws

Hammurabi’s Long-Lost Laws

  1. He who pees in his neighbor’s pool will in turn have his pool peed into by one dozen infected camels.
  2. He who lies about peeing in his neighbor’s pool will invite the offended party to bring all his doggos to poop in his pool. If the liar has no pool, or if his pool already has poop in it, he shall be put to death.
  3. He who doesn’t offer up a tuna sandwich in thanks to Marduk after winning serious shekels at a Game of Twenty Squares must offer 20% of his property* to the military class.

*women

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