The Lobstrosities of the Western Sea
“Dad-a-chack, dum-a-chum, and all that shit. I think they’re like us, Roland—all for eating, but not too big on getting eaten.” Eddie Dean, Dark Tower II: Drawing of the Three, Page 20
What are the Lobstrosities?
Long days and pleasant nights.
Mayhap the better question is, what does thee get when thee mixes a lobster and a monstrosity?
You know, linguistically speaking?
Lobstrosities are creatures that live by the shores of the Western Sea, just past the Mohaine Desert, for all ye would-be travellers, may it do ya fine. They resemble lobsters, which Roland had seen before, and have “bleak eyes on stalks” and “long serrated beak(s)”. Lobstrosities can speak, but the lobstrosities’ voices only sound like human speech. Their words are nonsense words: “Did-a-chick? Dum-a-chum? Dad-a-cham? Ded-a-check?” (yar, and all these quotations are from The Dark Tower 2: prologue, do ya).
Lobstrosities are vicious creatures, say true, say thankya, but they are also strange. When they hear the tide coming in, they freeze with their claws in the air in a “boxers pose.”
Thee can’t very well kick a lobstrosity; ye might as well kick a rock. So make sure thee packs thee’s shells, and that thee keeps thee’s shells dry from the waves of the sea.
Lobstrosities may be merciless monsters, but they’re also smart. When Eddie starts killing them along the beach night after night, they start learning to stay away.
What do Lobstrosities Say?
The lobstrosity says…
Below, I have compiled a comprehensive list of the lobstrosities’ entire vocabulary. I did this with my own research, so if I missed anything, you can always reach out by leaving a comment.
In parentheses, you’ll find the page number from TDT:
List of everything the Lobstrosities say in the Dark Tower 2: Drawing of the Three
- “Did-a-chick? Dum-a-chum? Dad-a-cham? Ded-a-check?” (page 16)
- “Dod-a-chock?” (page 17)
- “Did-a-chick?” (page 17)
- “Dum-a-chum? Dad-a-cham?” (page 17)
- “Dud-a-chum?” (page 18)
- “Dod-a-chock?” (page 18)
- “Dad-a—” (page 18)
- “Did-a-chick?” (page 20)
- “Dad-a-chack? Did-a-chick? Dum-a-chum? Dod-a-chock?” (page 92)
- “Dum a chum?” responds the loser. “Dod-a—” KA-BLAM! (page 109)
- “Did-a-chick?” (page 243)
- “Dod-a—” (page 244)
You’ll notice, not without some degree of pleasure, I wot, that three of these lobstrosities were attacked mid-speech.